Seeing all sorts of tours (and now trolleys) around has made me wonder: how much would you be willing to pay for a tour that actually gave an honest appraisal of a city or school?
Every time I walk by a tour group on campus, I mutter "God, I hate this school" in a barely-audible tone, hunch over, and stare on my feet until they're no longer paying any attention to me. Then I revert to my usual chipper self and giggle maniacally, especially if I was with someone and we had a little turn in the conversation about how bad things are at the University of Chicago before switching back to whatever completely irrelevant. The best, though, was last summer's biochemistry class when we all had a nice loud conversation about how it was so hard and we were all failing even though that was all we were doing....
I figure it evens things out a bit.
Tours on this campus are so...horribly inaccurate (looking for a politic way to say this). My favorite, which made me walk faster because I actually couldn't hold the laughter in, was the one where the tour guide explained that graduate students really respect the undergraduates on this campus for all their hard work. I have to wonder if this dude was ever in a class with grads.... (They don't care! There are more important things to worry about out there. Also, the excessive dedication of the undergraduate class is confusing and annoying. Who the fuck cares about some obscure irrelevant interruption? Stop interrupting my science class! Wow, that felt good to get out. Even if I know the person who did it will not see this.)
But anyway. I really wish I'd gotten actual facts from the tour guide when I visited here...although maybe I did. Campuses change really fast, considering the turnover rate, and considering that sometimes the administration decides that a new direction completely contrary to the past traditions is a good thing.
Cough, cough.
As for a city...I think a tour of a place like Chicago would be best from someone who had recently moved away or recently revisited after moving away. You'd get the pros and cons and an actual comparison. It's like when people who've lived here all the time have no idea what a beach is supposed to be like, which leads to travesties like Centennial Beach out in the 'burbs. Its bathrooms aren't even filthy!
So...would you pay for a tour of university from a recent graduate? Just let me know. ;)
8.26.2009
8.24.2009
Scientists Have Feelings, Too
I'm starting to realize how strange the public opinion of science is. On the one hand, people think that science will eventually figure everything out--and when I say 'eventually' I really mean within their own lifetimes--and have this weird, blind faith in science's ability to find the answer...but at the same time, scientists are seen in a number of less-than-flattering ways.
The big one is the soulless representative of cold, hard logic. The weird thing is that this even covers doctors and hospitals to the point where people are pretty much convinced that they're just 'subjects' with a 'disease'...among other things, I have to wonder how preferable the alternative really is. Would you rather have a wonderful emotional friend who's also too distraught to think about your condition with a clear head? (Okay, so "House MD" pretty much sums up the pros and cons of this view.) But anyway...it's sort of strange. I have to wonder if understanding the need for the rigor of experimental conditions and, in human testing, absolute consistency of behavior would help 'fix' this strange view. Or, really, is it even necessary that this change?
It's sort of weird that the people working to improve human life are the ones regarded as most distant from it. I mean, shows like "Bones" where the main character's geniosity is directly correlated to a complete inability to understand human interactions are annoying, but not completely off considering some of the nerds I've met (physics and math majors, I'm looking at you). I guess what I really want is more recognition for we the life scientists--not just the crap that the media pulls out of poor readings of abstrusely-written journal articles, but, like, the real thing.
After all, we will be curing your disease.
The big one is the soulless representative of cold, hard logic. The weird thing is that this even covers doctors and hospitals to the point where people are pretty much convinced that they're just 'subjects' with a 'disease'...among other things, I have to wonder how preferable the alternative really is. Would you rather have a wonderful emotional friend who's also too distraught to think about your condition with a clear head? (Okay, so "House MD" pretty much sums up the pros and cons of this view.) But anyway...it's sort of strange. I have to wonder if understanding the need for the rigor of experimental conditions and, in human testing, absolute consistency of behavior would help 'fix' this strange view. Or, really, is it even necessary that this change?
It's sort of weird that the people working to improve human life are the ones regarded as most distant from it. I mean, shows like "Bones" where the main character's geniosity is directly correlated to a complete inability to understand human interactions are annoying, but not completely off considering some of the nerds I've met (physics and math majors, I'm looking at you). I guess what I really want is more recognition for we the life scientists--not just the crap that the media pulls out of poor readings of abstrusely-written journal articles, but, like, the real thing.
After all, we will be curing your disease.
8.20.2009
System Overhaul III
I need to get a PS3.
But seriously, modern video games consoles are so different from...second-gen? third gen? stuff. The Internet is suddenly a very large part of this business--you can get console updates and patches, buy more games, buy stuff for games, network to play MMORPGs (except better because they're with a console)...etc. I have to wonder if this side of things will help bring about the Web 3.0 revolution, since there's a lot of potential here to link stuff to social networking sites. I mean, gamers are more likely to be dicking around on the internet anyway....
List of reasons I need a PS3, in no specific order:
1. Burnout Paradise
2. GTA 4
3. Prince of Persia
4. Soul Calibur IV
5. DC vs. Mortal Kombat
6. Ninja Gaiden
7. Bioshock
But seriously, modern video games consoles are so different from...second-gen? third gen? stuff. The Internet is suddenly a very large part of this business--you can get console updates and patches, buy more games, buy stuff for games, network to play MMORPGs (except better because they're with a console)...etc. I have to wonder if this side of things will help bring about the Web 3.0 revolution, since there's a lot of potential here to link stuff to social networking sites. I mean, gamers are more likely to be dicking around on the internet anyway....
List of reasons I need a PS3, in no specific order:
1. Burnout Paradise
2. GTA 4
3. Prince of Persia
4. Soul Calibur IV
5. DC vs. Mortal Kombat
6. Ninja Gaiden
7. Bioshock
8.16.2009
System Overhaul II
I know I've at least mentioned part of this earlier, but here's the version in full.
Food in America is a problem. People aren't just obese because they buy a ton of food, they're obese because buying fatty foods is way cheaper. Yeah, an individual apple is cheaper than a bag of chips, but you also end up hungry about ten minutes later (I can't get full on just a salad--I need my carbohydrates...mmmm, bread...). We live in a country where bottled water is more expensive than juice...what did we expect?! (This is not the case in Europe, where bottled water is far, far cheaper.)
But yeah. Here's a quick list of the problems with food products here that are not an issue in Europe:
1. Farmers' Market is more expensive than supermarket. WTF?! Why am I paying for the privilege of supporting local farmers when they're eliminating the middleman and really incurring no new expenses (I mean, don't they have to drive their shit to the supermarket...?). This is just...every time I think about it I want to smack the system upside the head. Seriously, guys. Seriously.
2. Everything has soy in it. Soy lecithin at the minimum, that is. Now, this wouldn't be too bad if a) soy didn't have estrogen in it and b) there weren't an increasing prevalence of soy allergies in the country. We need to stop rewarding farmers for growing cash crops. I don't care if Farmer Bill's family has spent six generations growing soy. I bet the seventh generation before was growing crops that, you know, didn't completely rape the land.
3. High fructose corn syrup. It's good for you. It's bad for you. We just make shit up because we're either sugar lobbyists or corn lobbyists. No one knows exactly what's going on with this, but it shouldn't matter because, like massive soy farms, it's just another way to completely fuck up the land. Did you know that there's only so many fertilizers you can slather on before you run out anyway?
4. Stuff doesn't taste good here. I can't eat gelato anymore in this country. :(
5. Freshness: does anyone know what it is? What Americans call 'fresh ingredients' is simply a disgrace. Food really does taste differently when it's been prepared with fresh stuff (and no, organic doesn't matter, but local does, unless you can get it to where you need it really, really fast. What kind of jackass decided that 'organic' would be synonymous with 'fresh'? Also, if you've played The Sims 3 you know exactly what I'm talking about).
So, what do we do?
1. Stop rewarding farmers for growing cash crops. Not only is it bad for the land, it also promotes the shittiness of food in America and the expensiveness of products that our miles and miles of arable land should be making super-cheap. I think that if healthy foods in this country tasted the way they did in Europe, we wouldn't have as bad of a crisis because people wouldn't be depending on fats and sugars to make their food taste good. Also, this would promote small farmers way more, as it's harder to factory farm acres of varied crops.
2. More restrictions on what can be defined as certain kinds of 'food.' I hear that a burger only has to be 51% meat to be a 'real beef burger,' and that there is not a single American-made chocolate that would qualify as chocolate outside of this country. So, what the hell is causing all this? Instead of making products as true to their labels as possible, companies are using 'filler' products like known carcinogen BHT (okay, but let's face it: what isn't carcinogenic? Honestly this has gotten a little ridiculous). Things don't taste as good--and yes, it does make them a little cheaper, but I think the benefits are slightly outweighed by chemotherapy, cholesterol meds, and in general the powerful desire to go to another country just to eat some goddamn food.
So, yeah. The American food system is fucked up, but on the surface at least it seems fixable. The trick is getting lobbyists on this end that are as powerful as the corn/soy/factory farm end.
P.S. Tried local bakery bread today. SO. EXPENSIVE.
Food in America is a problem. People aren't just obese because they buy a ton of food, they're obese because buying fatty foods is way cheaper. Yeah, an individual apple is cheaper than a bag of chips, but you also end up hungry about ten minutes later (I can't get full on just a salad--I need my carbohydrates...mmmm, bread...). We live in a country where bottled water is more expensive than juice...what did we expect?! (This is not the case in Europe, where bottled water is far, far cheaper.)
But yeah. Here's a quick list of the problems with food products here that are not an issue in Europe:
1. Farmers' Market is more expensive than supermarket. WTF?! Why am I paying for the privilege of supporting local farmers when they're eliminating the middleman and really incurring no new expenses (I mean, don't they have to drive their shit to the supermarket...?). This is just...every time I think about it I want to smack the system upside the head. Seriously, guys. Seriously.
2. Everything has soy in it. Soy lecithin at the minimum, that is. Now, this wouldn't be too bad if a) soy didn't have estrogen in it and b) there weren't an increasing prevalence of soy allergies in the country. We need to stop rewarding farmers for growing cash crops. I don't care if Farmer Bill's family has spent six generations growing soy. I bet the seventh generation before was growing crops that, you know, didn't completely rape the land.
3. High fructose corn syrup. It's good for you. It's bad for you. We just make shit up because we're either sugar lobbyists or corn lobbyists. No one knows exactly what's going on with this, but it shouldn't matter because, like massive soy farms, it's just another way to completely fuck up the land. Did you know that there's only so many fertilizers you can slather on before you run out anyway?
4. Stuff doesn't taste good here. I can't eat gelato anymore in this country. :(
5. Freshness: does anyone know what it is? What Americans call 'fresh ingredients' is simply a disgrace. Food really does taste differently when it's been prepared with fresh stuff (and no, organic doesn't matter, but local does, unless you can get it to where you need it really, really fast. What kind of jackass decided that 'organic' would be synonymous with 'fresh'? Also, if you've played The Sims 3 you know exactly what I'm talking about).
So, what do we do?
1. Stop rewarding farmers for growing cash crops. Not only is it bad for the land, it also promotes the shittiness of food in America and the expensiveness of products that our miles and miles of arable land should be making super-cheap. I think that if healthy foods in this country tasted the way they did in Europe, we wouldn't have as bad of a crisis because people wouldn't be depending on fats and sugars to make their food taste good. Also, this would promote small farmers way more, as it's harder to factory farm acres of varied crops.
2. More restrictions on what can be defined as certain kinds of 'food.' I hear that a burger only has to be 51% meat to be a 'real beef burger,' and that there is not a single American-made chocolate that would qualify as chocolate outside of this country. So, what the hell is causing all this? Instead of making products as true to their labels as possible, companies are using 'filler' products like known carcinogen BHT (okay, but let's face it: what isn't carcinogenic? Honestly this has gotten a little ridiculous). Things don't taste as good--and yes, it does make them a little cheaper, but I think the benefits are slightly outweighed by chemotherapy, cholesterol meds, and in general the powerful desire to go to another country just to eat some goddamn food.
So, yeah. The American food system is fucked up, but on the surface at least it seems fixable. The trick is getting lobbyists on this end that are as powerful as the corn/soy/factory farm end.
P.S. Tried local bakery bread today. SO. EXPENSIVE.
8.13.2009
In Summary
I would have done this a while ago, but meet my shitty internet. Shitty internet, say hello.
Anyway, yes I did quite like Florida, and it would have been better if I had been able to plan my own stuff (although not nearly as good if I'd had to spend my own money) and also try Yuengling, which I have heard way too much about (why isn't it available in Chicago?).
I have come, ultimately, to the only logical conclusion possible, which is that a week in the Magic Kingdom would be akin to ten years of therapy (and probably the same cost).
Anyway, yes I did quite like Florida, and it would have been better if I had been able to plan my own stuff (although not nearly as good if I'd had to spend my own money) and also try Yuengling, which I have heard way too much about (why isn't it available in Chicago?).
I have come, ultimately, to the only logical conclusion possible, which is that a week in the Magic Kingdom would be akin to ten years of therapy (and probably the same cost).
8.09.2009
Universal Studios
Finally, something that doesn't have to be entirely kid-friendly...it's really funny how many parents take their kids on these rides that are very clearly labeled as 'scary' all the while insisting that "The rides aren't scary!" to their nervous children and then doing things like cramming their hands over the kids' mouths once they have a freakout and start crying or whatever.
But anyway, this is the closest (besides Sea World, of course) that I got to having a real ride...much to my chagrin, the new roller coaster isn't open yet...but it looks totally awesome. :O
It was cool, though, because a lot of their attractions are based on movies (no shit) and feature segments that they must have had to film separately. It was kind of like watching the special features, except better because the seats moved and all that.
Goodtimes. Probably besttimes if we'd done everything before the Magic Kingdom...but the only day it didn't rain at all was the day we went there, so, yeah.
P.S. This place is heaven for pyromaniacs. There was fire everywhere in nice, large gouts and mini-explosions. It was real.
But anyway, this is the closest (besides Sea World, of course) that I got to having a real ride...much to my chagrin, the new roller coaster isn't open yet...but it looks totally awesome. :O
It was cool, though, because a lot of their attractions are based on movies (no shit) and feature segments that they must have had to film separately. It was kind of like watching the special features, except better because the seats moved and all that.
Goodtimes. Probably besttimes if we'd done everything before the Magic Kingdom...but the only day it didn't rain at all was the day we went there, so, yeah.
P.S. This place is heaven for pyromaniacs. There was fire everywhere in nice, large gouts and mini-explosions. It was real.
8.08.2009
Epcot: Future Town Maximum
So Epcot is basically like Tomorrowland on steroids. Lots of steroids. And way more indoors, which is totally fine because Florida is gross in the summer (humidity + heat + crowd? NOT. GOOD. I mean, did you really want to know exactly what sweat smelled like?). The rides, good...but nothing there is on the scale of the Magic Kingdom. Which, as I already mentioned, is ridiculous.
I thought that Illinois' complete failure of eco-friendliness had been rubbed in at the Magic Kingdom...but Epcot really drives it home. There's a ton of interactive things there, a lot--if not all--of which are concerned with the future. Which, of course, is quite green these days.
The international stuff is alright--more for looking at than for doing; almost everything is stores, although there are a few rides and movies...but I think I'm still using the Magic Kingdom as a point of comparison, which is of course completely ludicrous.
Also, Spaceship Earth...it's really cute how they avoided the whole creation of the universe thing. Although they do mention prehistoric peoples, they skip pretty quickly to real civilizations...well, a lot of Christians do support the park, so it's legit. And why offend anyone (scientists included) if all you have to do is omit a few details?
Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
I thought that Illinois' complete failure of eco-friendliness had been rubbed in at the Magic Kingdom...but Epcot really drives it home. There's a ton of interactive things there, a lot--if not all--of which are concerned with the future. Which, of course, is quite green these days.
The international stuff is alright--more for looking at than for doing; almost everything is stores, although there are a few rides and movies...but I think I'm still using the Magic Kingdom as a point of comparison, which is of course completely ludicrous.
Also, Spaceship Earth...it's really cute how they avoided the whole creation of the universe thing. Although they do mention prehistoric peoples, they skip pretty quickly to real civilizations...well, a lot of Christians do support the park, so it's legit. And why offend anyone (scientists included) if all you have to do is omit a few details?
Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
8.07.2009
The Magic Kingdom: Emos Beware
I need to start with a little bit about Walt Disney World.
They really, really mean the World thing. Seriously. This place is...just massive. So massive, that not only do they have a monorail, they also have a Downtown Disney! Seriously, you just go on this road...and all the signs are suddenly all themed, even the ones going to the highway.
But yeah. The Magic Kingdom.
We walk in, and the first thing that happens is a giant parade. Any less fortitude and our eyeballs would surely have popped. This theme continued throughout the place...they really, really mean the Magic thing! Normally, you could accuse someone of overusing that word...but not these guys. We went to the 3D show "Philharmagic" and not only did they have the air jets, they also had water splashes and...scent. Extreme!
Then we went to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction...it's impressive how close to the theme dudes they got the actors in the movie to look. Although they did add Bill Nighy's Davy Jones to one part, and Johnny Depp's voice for Captain Jack Sparrow. (Who's complaining, though, seriously?)
Oh, and then there was another parade. FTW. Ridiculous! Not as ridiculous as the animatronics, but...I really hope the increasingly sentient Google network doesn't come into contact with these guys, because then Skynet will have a real army.
Since some of the rides have the same names and general themes as the ones in Disneyland, I expected them to be the same...not even close. Rides that were two minute deals take five whole minutes (or more) here! Sadly, Space Mountain is closed until November...I can't imagine how much more awesome it would be than the one in Disneyland. (Of course, none of their coasters are really scary, but they're really 'rides' in the truest sense. Make sure you've got your glasses on for all of them...because holy crap they are so detailed.)
OH. I still like "It's a Small World" (okay, even if you hate the song you have to go on the ride...because the effects and the details and everything are just...holy shit), and also it's still fun, although I really haven't cared about meeting up with the characters since I was five. Which is fine. Because there is so much to do.
Like, say, at night. The light show is awesome. And the fireworks.... Both of these are dripping with little sentimental, family/Jesus-friendly messages, just like the rest of the park (possibly not the Haunted Mansion, but the awesomeness of that thing and the whole 'haunted' part are compensated for by the cute grave markers...although I can't believe that they actually mentioned Bluebeard! That tale is totally gruesome...), and like Sea World shows these days--but what can you do.
The fireworks were insane! Three times we thought they were over...and then there were MORE. And they were BETTER. And they lit up the whole sky.
The Magic Kingdom is the best getaway from reality, ever. I'm sure I'd be happy going broke there (although, of course, it wouldn't really take more than a week or so...so many things to collect!).
They really, really mean the World thing. Seriously. This place is...just massive. So massive, that not only do they have a monorail, they also have a Downtown Disney! Seriously, you just go on this road...and all the signs are suddenly all themed, even the ones going to the highway.
But yeah. The Magic Kingdom.
We walk in, and the first thing that happens is a giant parade. Any less fortitude and our eyeballs would surely have popped. This theme continued throughout the place...they really, really mean the Magic thing! Normally, you could accuse someone of overusing that word...but not these guys. We went to the 3D show "Philharmagic" and not only did they have the air jets, they also had water splashes and...scent. Extreme!
Then we went to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction...it's impressive how close to the theme dudes they got the actors in the movie to look. Although they did add Bill Nighy's Davy Jones to one part, and Johnny Depp's voice for Captain Jack Sparrow. (Who's complaining, though, seriously?)
Oh, and then there was another parade. FTW. Ridiculous! Not as ridiculous as the animatronics, but...I really hope the increasingly sentient Google network doesn't come into contact with these guys, because then Skynet will have a real army.
Since some of the rides have the same names and general themes as the ones in Disneyland, I expected them to be the same...not even close. Rides that were two minute deals take five whole minutes (or more) here! Sadly, Space Mountain is closed until November...I can't imagine how much more awesome it would be than the one in Disneyland. (Of course, none of their coasters are really scary, but they're really 'rides' in the truest sense. Make sure you've got your glasses on for all of them...because holy crap they are so detailed.)
OH. I still like "It's a Small World" (okay, even if you hate the song you have to go on the ride...because the effects and the details and everything are just...holy shit), and also it's still fun, although I really haven't cared about meeting up with the characters since I was five. Which is fine. Because there is so much to do.
Like, say, at night. The light show is awesome. And the fireworks.... Both of these are dripping with little sentimental, family/Jesus-friendly messages, just like the rest of the park (possibly not the Haunted Mansion, but the awesomeness of that thing and the whole 'haunted' part are compensated for by the cute grave markers...although I can't believe that they actually mentioned Bluebeard! That tale is totally gruesome...), and like Sea World shows these days--but what can you do.
The fireworks were insane! Three times we thought they were over...and then there were MORE. And they were BETTER. And they lit up the whole sky.
The Magic Kingdom is the best getaway from reality, ever. I'm sure I'd be happy going broke there (although, of course, it wouldn't really take more than a week or so...so many things to collect!).
8.06.2009
Tourism Is Scary. Florida, Day One
I guess I never mentioned it here, but I'm in Florida right now. Five days of saying things, having them be ignored, and then enacted twenty or so minutes later. Seriously, parents....
But anyway.
Oh. My.
Dear old people and/or morbidly obese people, please please for the love of whatever god(s) you believe in, don't wear tube tops. A) It's embarassing for you, because you're either supposed to have more dignity or not walk around constantly having to tug on your breasts, and B) it's fucking awkward for those of us who have to walk by you and try not to look in your direction, except that sometimes we have to go in that direction.... Also, people with strollers, seriously?! Have some fucking respect for other people's feet, especially when they are not only children but do not have a protective layer of lard on their feet.
I'm also seriously disturbed by obesity in America now. I mean, people in Chicago can be fat, but I generally see them walking around. At Sea World, there were an incredible amount of people in carts because they couldn't handle having to warlk around. If you want to point out that some of these people are legitimate--yeah, I had my eye out for that. See, if they bring their own wheelchair/have crutches/a giant bandage on a leg/something else that's visible, then, well, that's pretty obvious. But when they're sitting in a cart and their legs aren't atrophied in any way, just completely encased in fat....
On a happier note, though, there were large numbers of physicially and/or mentally disabled people about. I hadn't thought about it before, but Sea World really is one of the few places that disabled people can really enjoy: there's a ton of shows, the animals are animated and water in general is freakin' awesome. At the very least, there's cool light effects and something very tactile about getting completely soaked.
So that's why zoos are fine by me...also, y'know, animal conservation is awesome. I'd rather buy souvenirs from these places than from pure theme parks.
But....
When did Sea World get so gimmicky? I mean, the coaster that I went on wasn't bad--actually it was pretty sweet for something outside of Six Flags--but the shows were nothing compared to what I remember, and there was an obscene amount of shops and Anheuser-Busch advertising (okay, wow what so much shitty beer everywhere...and the "Apothecary," a place dedicated to Bud-wei-ser--raise your hand if you still think of the frogs when you hear the name). Maybe the Orlando one was always kind of like this, but I still remember when they came out with Happy Harbor (yeah, I only got to enjoy that for a year...bummer! They had the bouncy place, at least in the San Diego location) and how things kind of went downhill from there. I get the whole funding thing, but are people's attention spans so short that they can't even handle going to a place with cool animals and animals doing cool tricks without neeeEeeeding more?
Okay, I can kind of believe that of Americans. What the fuck, guys. First of all, the stroller thing. Second of all, I actually heard a kid yell "I WANT THAT DOLPHIN!" I always thought that was just an exaggeration or something, y'know?
But...yeah.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want the Sea World I remember back.
Not that it was completely awful.
Also, dear Dippin' Dots people: why are you so fucking expensive?!
But anyway.
Oh. My.
Dear old people and/or morbidly obese people, please please for the love of whatever god(s) you believe in, don't wear tube tops. A) It's embarassing for you, because you're either supposed to have more dignity or not walk around constantly having to tug on your breasts, and B) it's fucking awkward for those of us who have to walk by you and try not to look in your direction, except that sometimes we have to go in that direction.... Also, people with strollers, seriously?! Have some fucking respect for other people's feet, especially when they are not only children but do not have a protective layer of lard on their feet.
I'm also seriously disturbed by obesity in America now. I mean, people in Chicago can be fat, but I generally see them walking around. At Sea World, there were an incredible amount of people in carts because they couldn't handle having to warlk around. If you want to point out that some of these people are legitimate--yeah, I had my eye out for that. See, if they bring their own wheelchair/have crutches/a giant bandage on a leg/something else that's visible, then, well, that's pretty obvious. But when they're sitting in a cart and their legs aren't atrophied in any way, just completely encased in fat....
On a happier note, though, there were large numbers of physicially and/or mentally disabled people about. I hadn't thought about it before, but Sea World really is one of the few places that disabled people can really enjoy: there's a ton of shows, the animals are animated and water in general is freakin' awesome. At the very least, there's cool light effects and something very tactile about getting completely soaked.
So that's why zoos are fine by me...also, y'know, animal conservation is awesome. I'd rather buy souvenirs from these places than from pure theme parks.
But....
When did Sea World get so gimmicky? I mean, the coaster that I went on wasn't bad--actually it was pretty sweet for something outside of Six Flags--but the shows were nothing compared to what I remember, and there was an obscene amount of shops and Anheuser-Busch advertising (okay, wow what so much shitty beer everywhere...and the "Apothecary," a place dedicated to Bud-wei-ser--raise your hand if you still think of the frogs when you hear the name). Maybe the Orlando one was always kind of like this, but I still remember when they came out with Happy Harbor (yeah, I only got to enjoy that for a year...bummer! They had the bouncy place, at least in the San Diego location) and how things kind of went downhill from there. I get the whole funding thing, but are people's attention spans so short that they can't even handle going to a place with cool animals and animals doing cool tricks without neeeEeeeding more?
Okay, I can kind of believe that of Americans. What the fuck, guys. First of all, the stroller thing. Second of all, I actually heard a kid yell "I WANT THAT DOLPHIN!" I always thought that was just an exaggeration or something, y'know?
But...yeah.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want the Sea World I remember back.
Not that it was completely awful.
Also, dear Dippin' Dots people: why are you so fucking expensive?!
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