6.03.2005

G•R•A•D•U•A•T•I•O•N

The first time I heard the phrase 'swimming upstream', I was in my first-semester, freshman year Intro to Graphics class with Ms. Galfano, who mentioned it because I was moving backwards through the crowd to get something I'd forgotten. The last time I heard that phrase was as we seated ourselves before Commencement last night; two guys were moving through the crowd to find their seats near the back. Between those two times, there is a great deal of white space, like in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (which I totally loved and wanted to have buttsex with...no, that's a little weird). I have forgotten many things, like...well, how am I supposed to know what I've forgotten?

I do know, though, that I've changed since then: there's actually a genre of music I like now, I no longer disapprove of low necks, I officially despise bras, I've mentored people (really, really! Shut up, XS who isn't reading this anyway!), and, well, I'm far more aware of the world. I was a freshman in 2001, and since then, I have learned to despise the U.S.'s negative and patronizing attitude towards the rest of the world. I have found people to love and hate, I have discovered that there are some teachers--and non-authority figures--I can trust. I learned to hug people last night...and half lost my voice screaming with euphoria dampened by the fact that I knew I was going to graduate since I was in first grade, and also literally dampened with the fact that it was raining through the entire ceremony (my cardboard cap was convoluted at the conclusion of Commencement). Well, it felt good to know that I could finally talk to my teachers without the fear of expulsion, on the same level (or at least approaching--it's impossible to be as intellectual as some of them). When I return to NNHS, I can look around and laugh at all the petty problems the froshies and sophies are bitching about. I will feel as if NNHS is a personal friend, intimate and comfortable because it is so much smaller than the University of Chicago.

I think that I would be more apprehensive about graduation and leaving familiarity behind if I hadn't left familiarity behind so many times--elementary school (I went to two), middle school (I moved to Warrenville before seventh grade and actually started late; in sixth grade, I switched classes after a week), and now high school. There is no one who completely knows me, perhaps not even myself, because no one has spent so much time with me. I know that there are people who can provide snapshots of me at different ages, can say what I was like (and I'll bet that loquaciousness will be common to every description); but no one can provide a complete evaluation of how I have changed, least of all myself. But that is the way it must be; I can think upon it later as I continue at the University of Chicago with a few, but not many, familiar faces.

Anyway, that's the nice, introspective commentary. I will now brag about how sexxy it is to no longer be in school, after having spent 62.5% of my life as a student (yes, there is a discrepancy; 12/18 is not 62.5%).

I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK! I ROCK!

2 comments:

stevie.be. said...

congratulations! graduation an incredible feeling. hope it lasts awhile ;)

The Reporter said...

Thanks :)
Yep, still semi-euphoric.