Don't Burn People, Baby Sun (an educational children's book)

Take note, parents, as this is why you should let your children talk on the phone for hours at a time....

At some point between wanting giant amoebas as pets and static on the airwaves, JB and I came up with the notion of BABY SUN. He just wants to go for a walk! Oh, Baby Sun, don't burn people! You're so silly! Clearly it's meant to be a bestselling children's book. (I originally showed this to my sister in the hopes it would traumatize her, but she was all, 'you should get this published!' Sadly, there may be a few obstacles in the way of that. Otherwise, if you're a publisher with a sense of humor who thinks kids just aren't getting the information they need these days....)

I think it would be hilarious if this, or just the notion of it, got around on the Internet so you can redistribute if you want.

"Come on, Eliosaki! Come on, Baby Sun! Let's go for a walk!"

JB suggested some kind of pretentious Latin name for the guy, so I figured I'd take it one step more pretentious and use Greek for the dude's name (Baby Sun is Baby Sun). Of course I used modern and dropped the accents, but 'Eliosaki' is 'Sun (diminutive)'.

"What a lovely day for a walk outside!"

"Oh, Baby Sun! I told you not to char people to a crisp!"

I don't know why, but the very idea of a 'baby sun' is just hilarious. Say it out loud. Baby Sun. Also, I have a fantastic sound effect Baby Sun would be making there--call me and I'll tell you how it goes. :D

"You can cause a first degree burn! If people run that under cold water they will be just fine."

I think this is about the one part that would get me in trouble, as it tells children to lightly burn their friends.

"But there are some places people do not want to get burned ever!"

My sister thinks this part would be the problem. I say, note the lack of detailed genitalia! At any rate, this page is all JB's fault. I'd rather just put one in diagramming the layers of skin....

"A second degree burn goes deeper and hurts more,"

"and third degree burns send people to the hospital!"

I can't decide which one's my favorite page, #3 or this one. This one actually has flames on it...and kids should learn all about pyromania from the start.

"So remember to [oops] Always Be Careful, Baby Sun."

"Wow, what a nice park!"

Children should be introduced to cynicism from an early age. Just sayin'. My sister came up with the idea of sticking bandages on them, so clearly it's alright.

No comments: