Eggless Lime Bars, Another Recipe?!

I wasn't going to post this, and then it occurred to me that I made significant modifications to the original recipe, which can be found at JoyofBaking.com.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME, SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH: So you're thinking, what the hell is she doing within 50 feet of a kitchen?! Long story short, I really, really love lime and lemon bars. I skipped lunch in Florida for half a slice of real key lime pie once...and besides, I got my sister to do some of the stuff I didn't want to do.

INGREDIENTS/STUFF (Amounts are variable. See recipe for details. That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd be saying. Writing. Whatever.)
1. One stick of butter. If you insist on using salted, you'd better be ready for a potential disaster.
2. Confectioner's/powdered sugar.
3. All purpose flour.
4. Salt.
5. Granulated white sugar.
6. Milk (2%. Only Philistines use skim). Or, you know, almond milk.
7. Two Mexican limes. (If you have access to key limes, guesstimate, you lucky bastard.)
8. Baking powder.
9. An 8x8" glass pan. We don't own one of these, I have no idea what size I used but it had a similar surface area, so that's okay.

MEASUREMENTS: I use the word 'teaspoon' and 'tablespoon' quite often. In reality, I just kind of guess. We have regular spoons and cereal spoons: the former's a teaspoon, the latter's a tablespoon as far as I am concerned. Who follows a recipe properly anyways, amirite?

Part One. CRUST
1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Melt the butter. Put it in a measuring cup and microwave it till it's warm, but not actually steaming.
3. Mix 1/3 cup of butter with 1/4 cup of confectioner's sugar, 1 cup of flour, and 1/8 of a teaspoon of salt. Wooden spoon works fine, but if you're feeling adventurous then go for that electric mixer. I just hope you love cleaning.
4. What you should end up with is a mix that looks a whole lot like a bunch of beads--very crumbly, but also a bit sticky. Grease the pan (tiny bit of any kind of oil, rub it all over). Press it into the bottom of the pan.
5. Bake for twenty minutes. Crust-tastic! (For some reason it always gathers on one side of the pan. As a result, I'm tempted to just skip the crust...they taste really good without it....)

1. Wash the limes with soap and water. Make sure you get rid of all the soap.
2. Cut off any gross-looking bits on the skin of the limes, and then grate off the top green layer. This is really important: don't get the white layer beneath! It tastes terrible. As for grating size--I used a fine grater, and the entire thing has this delicious texture...but there's no comparing the awesomeness of finding a giant chunk of "zest" in your mouth.
3. Juice the limes.
4. Mix 1/2 cup granulated white sugar with 1/6 cup of butter and 1/6 cup of milk. At least, that's how much I think I used.... Seriously? I just poured a little from A and a little from B and got something that looked kind of like I'd just cracked two eggs in, so that was fine. In retrospect, I think I might have used a little too much...so try 1/6 butter and 1/8 milk.
5. Add a tablespoon of baking powder, and two tablespoons of flour.
6. Salt...try an eighth of a teaspoon--that's a little bigger than the average pinch.
7. Dump in the lime zest and juice.
8. Mix! What you get should look a little frothy, very white, and also probably have small lumps of...stuff in it. Don't worry. Heat tends to melt stuff.
9. Just to be sure, try a little filling. Caution: be prepared for a taste explosion. Also, the uncooked stuff is sweeter than the cooked--I was totally freaked out for no reason at all.
10. Pour it into the pan on top of the crust.
11. Bake for another 20 minutes, or until "the filling is set." Whatever; just bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

**Honey and almond milk variant! - The color's going to be a bit browner. Use about 1/6 cup of honey if you don't want it really sweet; honey has a really strong flavor, after all. Also, the stuff we had at home was a little crystallized so I microwaved it before putting it in. It formed this weird layer beneath the lime stuff on top (not bad, just a little crunchy-ish), and bubbled out in one place.... The almond milk doesn't seem to make a taste difference at all.

Here, have a picture.

Sprinkle some confectioner's sugar on top if you want it.

I suggest cutting these into tiny pieces, if only to avoid the insane temptation of eating the entire damn thing in one day. Control...control....

As for vegans: :P Just use the egg replacer, okay? I think vegan butter'd be fine in the crust, but soymilk...eeeeew.


Cole said...

Mine turned out terrible. :(
Well, not terrible. The crust is great. But the filling is disgusting. It's really tart, too. But the crust is great!
#Maybe next time I'll just make the crust.

PD said...

Oh nooooooo! Hmm, the problem could be the limes. If you have very unripe limes.... I have a pretty strong sense of smell so that's what I go off, I use rather ripe ones. (Also try lemons instead, they're much sweeter.)