Snow Storms

Surely you're aware that the Inuit have x amount of words for snow, where x is a ludicrously large number (greater than ten) and 'words for snow' actually means specific varieties.

I'm amazed at the paucity of the English language for these things. So here's a bunch of really clever terms that should totally be part of Urban Dictionary, or if you're a hi-fi scholar type reading this, the OED (and how did you get here, by the way?):

1. playsnow -- the kind of shit kids just love to fall over in, powdery good-for-nothing garbage that looks like sugar and twinkles with lies.

2. legosnow -- the shit that actually packs, you know, you squish it in your hand and for a moment it melts and then it's ice again and...hello BALLS and MEN and FORTS...oh boy those first two do not look good together, huh.

3. easysnow -- adults like this kind. stays on the dead grassy areas and the trees looking nice and shiny and pristine, but melts right off driveways and roads.

4. nosnow -- my personal favorite.

In retrospect, all of these are really just temperature dependent. I guess we might as well roll it up into the giant category of weather, then.

p.s. Have you ever tried lying down after making a snow angel, mouth open for the snowflakes, packed powder coalescing around your form?

It's fun...or maybe that's just a combination of hypothermia and tainted snowflake talking.

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