Mysterious Smell Doesn't Kill Twelve/Variants are the Latest Trend

Big news of the day in Chicago: there's a mysterious smell in the air, in this oval of space that's neatly delineated in a light computer-generated glow. People are complaining of it, because it's unpleasant--but fear not, for it is only temporary and most likely harmless, they say!

Oscars--really, it was worth watching Hillary Swank get music'd (jeez, that looks better spoken than written); and then there was the huge fashion troupe. I think Gwyneth Paltrow and Penelope Cruz won for the women, by daringly taking the typical strapless and train-billow on the floor and adding *gasp* a belt and bow, respectively! And Johnny Depp won for the men by *shock gasp choke* wearing NAVY BLUE instead of black--though the glasses from the '80s totally ruined the effect. I think he's trying to reduce his sex appeal, having finally reached the age of 40 (?).

Anyway, Chris Rock was totally awesome since I haven't seen his comedy routines in full before, and he had a good point about the awards being totally disconnected from reality. All I have to say to him, on behalf of the Academy (though they aren't paying me), is--what did you expect from the authority?

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