Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest

((I write these more for myself than anything else. You may feel snubbed now.))

Anyway, if you go in as I did, expecting a Disney sequel--always a pallid imitation of the original--you'll be totally wowed. While some of the gags are stretched--yes, we know that pirates are all about being drunk on rum, some of them far more frequently than others--and that Orlando Bloom kinda sucks--if it'd been made without the first one behind it, this movie would be thoroughly, instead of mostly, awesome. It's kind of like a series of books after, say, the 2nd or 3rd one...you know how the author writes and are familiar with the characters, but you're still interested in the little twists and side plots they tack on.

And the movie itself:
The graphics are awesome, blending in well, fanservice is provided--to an excess--and people are entertained. Just don't take it seriously and you'll be fine. Hey, I was perfectly happy grinning my arse off at all the silly little bits; the moviemakers had fun making this one, and audiences should have fun watching it.

Anyway. The ultimate judgment, my rating, is a matinee ticket at AMC30 ($7).

My excessively pragmatic scale of rating:
Don't bother ($0)...
DVD at the library ($1)...
DVD at Family Video ($2.50)...
Matinee at Cinemark ($6)...
Night show at Cinemark ($8, but their theatres are midgety)...
Matinee at AMC30 ($7)...
Night show at AMC30 ($9, though bring a student I.D.--AMC doesn't deserve your money)...
The IMAX experience ($12; I do feel, though, that this one would be pretty damn sweet in it. I feel that way about most movies I see).

Also, this was the most quotable movie ever (many paraphrased, I have no memory for exact wording):

"Why is the rum always gone?"

"For you, it should be either a dress or nothing at all. You know, I've got no dress in my cabin."

"Hide the rum!"

"There'll be a time when you have the chance to do the right thing."

"I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."

"Well, in Scandinavia, they pronounce it kruh-ken, and that's closer to krah-ken...."

"Where is the thump-thump?"

"Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?"

"I've got a jar of di-irt! I've got a jar of di-irt!"

"Damn you, Jack Sparrow!"


...and so on.

P.S. August 19.--This movie, surprisingly enough, was actually better the second time around; I guess that one's attention isn't as demanded by the 'terrible beastie', swaggering, and rum, so it's easier to notice the smaller details and to appreciate the excellent soundtrack.

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