The Magic Kingdom: Emos Beware

I need to start with a little bit about Walt Disney World.

They really, really mean the World thing. Seriously. This place is...just massive. So massive, that not only do they have a monorail, they also have a Downtown Disney! Seriously, you just go on this road...and all the signs are suddenly all themed, even the ones going to the highway.

But yeah. The Magic Kingdom.

We walk in, and the first thing that happens is a giant parade. Any less fortitude and our eyeballs would surely have popped. This theme continued throughout the place...they really, really mean the Magic thing! Normally, you could accuse someone of overusing that word...but not these guys. We went to the 3D show "Philharmagic" and not only did they have the air jets, they also had water splashes and...scent. Extreme!

Then we went to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction...it's impressive how close to the theme dudes they got the actors in the movie to look. Although they did add Bill Nighy's Davy Jones to one part, and Johnny Depp's voice for Captain Jack Sparrow. (Who's complaining, though, seriously?)

Oh, and then there was another parade. FTW. Ridiculous! Not as ridiculous as the animatronics, but...I really hope the increasingly sentient Google network doesn't come into contact with these guys, because then Skynet will have a real army.

Since some of the rides have the same names and general themes as the ones in Disneyland, I expected them to be the same...not even close. Rides that were two minute deals take five whole minutes (or more) here! Sadly, Space Mountain is closed until November...I can't imagine how much more awesome it would be than the one in Disneyland. (Of course, none of their coasters are really scary, but they're really 'rides' in the truest sense. Make sure you've got your glasses on for all of them...because holy crap they are so detailed.)

OH. I still like "It's a Small World" (okay, even if you hate the song you have to go on the ride...because the effects and the details and everything are just...holy shit), and also it's still fun, although I really haven't cared about meeting up with the characters since I was five. Which is fine. Because there is so much to do.

Like, say, at night. The light show is awesome. And the fireworks.... Both of these are dripping with little sentimental, family/Jesus-friendly messages, just like the rest of the park (possibly not the Haunted Mansion, but the awesomeness of that thing and the whole 'haunted' part are compensated for by the cute grave markers...although I can't believe that they actually mentioned Bluebeard! That tale is totally gruesome...), and like Sea World shows these days--but what can you do.

The fireworks were insane! Three times we thought they were over...and then there were MORE. And they were BETTER. And they lit up the whole sky.

The Magic Kingdom is the best getaway from reality, ever. I'm sure I'd be happy going broke there (although, of course, it wouldn't really take more than a week or so...so many things to collect!).

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